


Got Your Back

by icandrawamoth



Series: February Ficlet Challenge 2020 [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual Rey, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Rey (Star Wars), Asexual Character, Asexual Rey (Star Wars), Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Conversations, February Ficlet Challenge, February Ficlet Challenge 2020, Gray-Aromanticism, Gray-Asexuality, Other, Queerplatonic Relationships, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22766794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: Rey and her QPP discuss their orientations and how difficult it can be to know what you really want.
Relationships: Rey & Original Female Character
Series: February Ficlet Challenge 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624723
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7
Collections: February Ficlet Challenge 2020





	Got Your Back

**Author's Note:**

> For February Ficlet Challenge prompt "bodyswap." The idea is in there vaguely, anyway. Find a little info on my OC Shandra [here](https://corelliaxdreaming.tumblr.com/post/190868967127/since-ive-started-writing-some-stuff-about-her).

Shandra flops onto her back on her bunk inside the Batuu Resistance base - spluttering when it makes one of her long, black ponytails flip into her face.

On the bed beside hers, Rey giggles, but the look she gives is sympathetic. "Still that flustered?"

For a moment, Shandra considers putting the other ponytail over her face to cover her awkwardness. She's an agent in a war for kriff's sake; simply having a guy smile at her shouldn't throw her off this much.

Rey rolls onto her side and reaches out into the space between the bunks. When Shandra doesn't respond, she wiggles her fingers encouragingly. With a sigh, Shandra shakes her hair away from her face and clasps Rey's fingers, a sign of solidarity they'd had for a long time even before they formed this partnership.

"Really, are you okay?" Rey asks.

"Yeah. I just...I wish it were easier, you know? Zech is nice, and I like him well enough but...I just don't feel anything for him. No sexual attraction, no romantic attraction. Not even much for aesthetic attraction, if I'm being honest." She lets go of Rey's hand and lays back on the bed again. "Sometimes I wish you and me could just trade brains. I'd like your confidence in being aroace and just knowing this stuff is never going to happen to me. None of this gray nonsense and just...wondering."

"Hey. It's okay to wonder. And it's okay to want a romantic or sexual relationship."

Shandra bites her lip as she looks over at Rey. "Is it? Sometimes I worry I'm making it seem like you're not enough for me, and that's not true at all. I knew I loved you in a way pretty much as soon as we met, and it wasn't just hero worship. Once I let myself see you as a person and not just a Resistance hero...we were so much alike."

"I remember how happy we were when Vi explained QPRs to us." Rey smiles warmly. "I'm glad we're able to have that, and you never make me feel like I'm not enough. As far as you wanting romance and sex someday if you can have it, when it comes right down to it, this relationship isn't that. And I want you to have what you want."

"I can have both," Shandra says, reassuring herself mostly. She closes her eyes and lets herself imagine it for a moment. A man who loves her and who she loves, a sexual relationship she takes pleasure in, and Rey there on her other side, steadfast in platonic love that's every bit as strong. "I want both. It's hard not knowing if I'll ever have it."

"Figuring out your identity can be hard," Rey says sympathetically. "I know I had it easy, and I wish it was that way for everyone, but it just isn't. You've never felt romantically or sexually attracted to anyone before, and you want to be, but you don't know if you will. That has to be difficult to deal with."

"Yeah." Shandra toys with a ponytail as she often does when she's anxious. "It sounds so stupid. I don't even actively want a boyfriend right now. I'm so glad I have you, Rey, but I wasn't even looking for that. I mean...when it comes right down to it, _is_ a relationship something I want? Or do I just think I do because it seems like everyone else does?"

"I wish I could answer that for you, love."

Shandra flushes a little as she always does when Rey uses an endearment. It had been strange at first, trying to divorce them from the context of romance, but she really does enjoy it. It's just one more way for her partner to show she cares about her, and Shandra is trying to become more comfortable saying the words back.

"Thanks for listening to me, anyway. I feel like I whine about this a lot."

"It's on your mind. I always want to hear what you're thinking."

"It's the same for me with what you're thinking, you know." Shandra manages a smile finally, shifting onto her side to look at Rey directly. "I'm just going to not fixate on it for now. I don't feel anything besides maybe friendship for Zech. If that changes, it changes, but I'm not gonna try and force it. Now." She prompts her chin on a fist. "What you don't you tell me what kinds of things have been on your mind?"

Rey pauses for a moment, and Shandra knows she's taking the time to make it seem like she hasn't just been waiting to launch into her own things. Shandra knows that's not true though; Rey is a perfect listener, and she really does care. But she has so many of her own burdens, too, and as she had said, Shandra is ready to listen to them. Rey is her partner, and though she may not know anything about being a Jedi or a famous hero, she's ready to do everything she can to support her, just as Rey does for her.


End file.
